Seriously ignore all these if you don't want to see too many emo stuffs.
I'm gonna strike it out anyway.
So here goes:
dammit, I'm getting jealous. I feel like I was being toyed with whenever I talked to you. & I know the awful truth. The truth which made me bloody jealous. And bloody sad. I just can't fucking take it anymore. I thought I could be happy. But I'm not. So I guess now, I'll just have to face this world with a bright and fake smile. If someone had told me earlier, I wouldn't have been so stupid as to confess. Confessions were never my fucking expertise. But I don't like to keep them to myself either. Looks like leading a crappy life with a crappy personality is my area of expertise. Since that day, I never knew how to face you without feeling stupid and childish. I shouldn't even have wrote this now, I have better things to do. But if I don't, there's no one I can speak to at the moment. But I hope this jealousy won't ruin my life. Or studies.
It's the first time,
the first time I posted with vulgarities. ohwell, the same one repeated 2 times.
There's so much crappish stuff going on in my crappy life.
There seems to be almost no one I can turn to.
I could always turn to those whose names are right above at my profile,
but some of them wouldn't understand.
here's smth I found on Deviantart :
Jealousy kills you,
With every ache.
You keep your mouth shut,
Your smile is fake.

You say it's okay,
When really it's not.
It makes you sick,
But it's these thoughts you fought.

You feel the heat in your shoulders,
your hands start to shake,
You keep to yourself,
as you silently wait.

You deal with the pain,
with each word you write,
Thinking nice thoughts,
To help your mind fight.

Your stomach is turns,
You feel you should die,
But you breathe a breath in,
and you try not to cry.

It's really not bad,
this lie that you made,
To help you fight through,
As the feeling will fade.