Sometimes,
you hate the life you're living now,
but what can you do?
The only thing you can do
is just to live it the way it is.
But why is that so hard to do for me?
I tried my best already,
but it seems as though no one will ever understand...
this is one of the times where I need a friend.
but sometimes I stop to think,
"Do I have a real friend at all?"
and after some thinking, I guess the answer is no.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm living a life that is totally crap.
Probably even the biggest loner in the world has a better life than me.
People want me to do this, then I'll do it.
People want me to do that, then I'll do it.
But why are they never impressed,
in fact, they just want more and more.
And they keep saying more and more bad things about me.
I'm slowly moving out of my comfort zone,
and I hate it.
It's not that I show an attitude on purpose,
but if everyone treats me coldly,
how can I not?
You can't expect me to smile and bear with it for the rest of my life.
And then people can still say that I don't respect them,
and that I always give "attitude".
It's simply because, I'm not treated the right way.
I feel like I'm like a piece of tissue paper,
once you're done messing around with it,
in to the dustbin it goes.
has anyone thought of how I would feel? No.
has anyone thought of the consequences whatsoever? No.
I accept the critisms from other people,
as it's a platform for me to improve.
But am I that bad that no one has nothing good to say about me?
Not even something half-good.
And to be honest,
I feel left out in the Board.
It's only sometimes when people need me that they include me.
okay, so maybe I do have some of the people I think are my close friends.
Which would be the ones that I included up there.
But sometimes, I get the feeling
that deep down, I'm not one of their close friends.
maybe not even normal friends at all.
I don't know what to do with my rotten life.
I ever thought of transferring schools. But....
I guess it would be a waste.
Might as well just live the 4 years
in this school. I'll just have to bear with it.
Cos I can only learn from my mistakes