Friday, April 30, 2010
Awesome.

Today was a totally fun day!
Except for some parts,
had history lesson in the morning -.-
I don't really like, but nevermind.
Then blah blah blah,
after school talked to Joey, she apologised to me.
Then I accepted it lorhs.
Then played in the Youth Corner.
Then Jiajie, Ronnie, Zhilin and Zavier kept on playing and playing.
Like all jumping on Zhilin like that.
Then we all played ouch!
Oh, that was very very traumatising.
At first, I sat in between Valerie and Amantha.
So I could stand the beatings.
Then, Zhilin say everyone change seats in 3 seconds.
Then I didn't know where to seat.
2 seats left, each have their own consequences.
One was beside Zavier, then the other was beside Zhilin.
So then I chose to sit beside Zhilin,
guess what? The biggest mistake EVER.
First hit, my leg went red.
Second and third hits, internal bleeding.
I mean it. It hurt so badly the whole day.
I was trying my real best not to scream. Seriously.
Then actually Shihui and I wanted to go home at 2.30pm.
But we kept procrastinating.
In the end, I went back myself at 3.15pm.
Chiong-ed back by 88. Missed 156 by 5mins.
arghs. Then, chiong-ed home to clean myself and went to meet Lynnie~ and Lulu~
at kfc. ate a little, went to NTUC to calculate stuff we needed to buy.
Then went to school for briefing.
Then ate dinner at McDonalds with Kuan Hong, Hui Ting, Clinton and Ke Xuan.
Then Ke Xuan superbly emo. Never talk/seldom talk.
Then we challenged Clinton to make Ke Xuan open his mouth to talk.
Then he did lor. ahhahs, then Clinton keep doing the ignoring thing to me.
Cos sometimes when I talk, no one responds.
Then when I look at Kuan Hong, like he staring at Clinton like that.
Damn funny luhhs. Then he kept biting on the same fry to mash it up.
Then when I tell him these stuffs, he was like "Why you observing me arhs?"
I was like, no, not at all. Then laughed a lot and babbled a lot.
Then Kuan Hong asked me, "Why you keep looking at me?"
Then I was like, "When I talk to a person, I'll look at the person."
Then he and Clinton talked to each other while looking up at the McDonalds ceiling.
Then we laughed. And I babbled. Then Clinton left.
Then left the four of us. Hui Ting wanna go Daiso. Then we followed.
Then Ke Xuan and Kuan Hong took a trolley in, and put a basket on top.
I was like, "-.-" Idiot nugget :PP
Like ya'll gonna buy anything.
Then I had to go cos my siblings bothering me. Then Hui Ting and I left.
Then end of story.
arghs arghs! I want the excuse form! Then can report at 7am to RVPS on Friday!!!
Mr Mah gonna write one. Then teachers at HS must approve -.-

My Poor Leg, beaten by Zhilin 3 times.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Moody.

Never have I been so moody before.
So many craps just popping up and ruining my day.
oh my...
what a life I have had!
or a few days.
I'm so damn tired now.
I hate the things which are pissing me off now.
I want to forget my old friends,
cos they're all forgetting me.
Not inviting me to any gatherings they have at all.
Recently, that is.
But I can't even make enough new friends to make me happier.
STRESS!
I wanna rip my hair off.
Or alternative is just go to a deep sleep.
Then can wake up to a fresh start!
maybe not.
But how I wish things could be better.
I'm already giving my 200% best.
But no one appreciates, so how?
DBT, but have to tahan for awhile longer.
I've ever thought of a transfer of schools,
but also not worth it.
And very troublesome.
Why me?
Why not someone else?
Bearing with it now,
I'm just scared I'll break down sometime.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Stressed.

Stressed out recently.
What does friendship mean to me?
Does it mean
dumping your friends for your boyfriend?
or maybe,
Leaving your old friends for your new friends?
I'm referring to a particular someone.
Sometimes, relationships just aren't worth making sacrifices for.
haish, don't think so much would be better.
hmmmmmms, tomorrow's the chinese exams,
then have extra lessons.
goodluck to everyone! love you guys ttvvvvm! lovelove!
hahahs,
language shouldn't be much of a problem anyway.
hmmm, once those horrible things happened,
I guess you clearly drew the line that since you have
a new boyfried, and new friends,
she doesn't really need me as a friend anymore.
Maybe I'm saying all these cos I once treated her as my best friend.
But if she couldn't care less about this friendship that's gonna die anytime soon,
I think that it's probably time that I should let go.
I'll wait for the old her to come back,
but it won't be much of a help. Cos she's done too much damage to make up for.
Come to think of it, if I hadn't done what I did to cause the argument,
she probably wouldn't even have a stead now.
And she never thanked me, in fact, she blamed me.
For the fact that I didn't ask for her permission.
Why do I feel that we're drifting further and further apart with each and every day?
Everytime I talk to you, it's like you're giving me half-hearted answers.
And you're always so distant and distracted.
So what if you have new stuffs? Does that mean that you can throw the old and used ones away? That's not what I would do..
You're not treating any of your "old" things with any mutual respect.
I don't feel like being friends with you anymore, cos you're not acting like a good friend.
Of course I wanna help you, but I feel like when you don't need me,
you just throw me away like a used tissue.
But I still have to admit that you've helped me some times before,
and thanks for that.
But still... this is going no where. Maybe I'm gonna have to end it soon.
Find new friends and get it over and done with.
There are many other things related to this issue that I wanna rant about,
but it's too rude to say here.
And I'll go crazy if I do rant about everything.
Keep it to myself then.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Home Alone.

Yeaps, home alone yet again.
My parents chose to go to Serangoon Road
to take a look at pets - the only place I would not go.
They knew but they went ahead anyways,
so I'm left at home being a scaredy cat.
And there's nothing to do except to use to computer
and to turn on the TV, so I won't be so scared.
Whatever, I'll just watch my 败犬女王 with my 阮经天!
hahah, nothing to do mah.
_________________________________________________________________
I asked, and up till now,
it's still a cliffhanger.
I haven't gotten an answer yet,
the only thing I got was something uncertain.
hehehes, but I'll wait lor.
Just carry on waiting till the cows come home :P
I'm positive that it'll be a yes,
hahahs, hope so.
Just know that I'm waiting 就对了.
____________________________________________________________________________
The results of the 2010 prefects are going to come out in another few weeks.
How nerve-wrecking.
I'm not sure if I'll get in though,
due to what happened 2-3 weeks ago.
Haish, but I guess I'll just have to think positively.
____________________________________________________________________________
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars,
I could really use a wish right now.
I hate those irritating birds living in my house,
everyday sqwak and sqwak so loudly.
Cannot watch my show in peace at all. arghs.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
A Picture Paint A Thousand Words
Let the pictures speak for themselves. haha.







:DD

My happiness level is raised,
by 45%.
now, it's at 65%.
That's a record for me this year.
many great things happened to me these few days,
I think some people will know what -.-
yesterday,
had lessons,
then stayed back for extra Lit class.
my group had to act out scenes from Animal Farm,
my group was given the theme "Plight of the Animals"
Then we chose 3 scenes,
first scene was the hens and their eggs scene, where they starved to death.
second scene was the execution of the animals,
the last scene was Boxer saying goodbye,
thinking he was going to a vet, but no. he was going to die. so sad.
then I had to act as the hen, PIG and Boxer -.-
then escaped early due to "family commitment",
then followed Joey and gang back to Rivervale,
had problems getting in,
as usual.
that's so bloody stupid luhhs.
then they always don't let us go in.
until Jon's mum came to the rescue.
then after I ate a little, I went to Macs,
to grab my McNuggets value meal. I made it just in time,
3 more minutes till McValue lunch ends. LOL.
then after that went back to school myself w/o telling Joey,
cos I thought she wouldn't wanna go back with me.
Then when I reached, played around with Yiyan, Zhilin and Jiajie.
Then after some calls made to Joey by Jiajie,
she finally came,
although she sounded like she was forced to.
Then played, then went into the Youth Corner for some chitchat
With Mingkang, Xavier, Zavier, Brandon, Yiyan, Jiajie and Joey.
But I didn't really chat much, cos their topics revolved around love, love and
even more love. So I felt a little left out,
but at least I had things to do.
Then after that, all of us went back,
some of us bought ice-cream. I love the chocolate ones, cheap and nice :DD
Then met up with Zhilin at the playground near Hougang Point with Yiyan.
Then go Point drink coke!
Then homed with Yiyan at about 6.15pm
although the bus tok very long to come.
overall, a very very happy day for me! :DDD
I hope there'll be many more days like this to come!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
This One's For You - I'm Sorry

haven't posted in ages,
hmmmms,
the first thing I wanna say is that
I'm Sorry
I didn't know that I misunderstood you,
So now,
even though I just apologised,
I still feel guilty.
I don't know why,
but it doesn't feel right.
I'll admit,
I went too far by insulting you here,
I didn't know that you would read this.
I always thought that this was a platform for me
to just vent out my frustrations,
So it's true that I never thought about how others would feel.
okayy, so I'm really sorry,
& I know how it goes,
Just saying "sorry" won't cure anything that I caused.
But it is the only thing that I can do
to make this any better.
I'm waiting till the day we can be friends again,
just like the way we used to be. :DD
I hope you'll forgive me.
Sorry really seems to be the hardest word.
ohwell, some progress,
at least you acknowledged the text I sent. :DDD
Happy Happy :)
Be friends?
Cos I wanna be.
LOL...
so this is all I have to say,
I hope you're reading this.
Until then,
I'm looking forward to the day that we can laugh again.
as friends. :DD
Special thanks to:
Yiyan for helping me realise all these things.
Thanks ttvvvvvm. I've never had such a good friend to tell me all these things.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I Can't Take It Anymore

Sometimes,
you hate the life you're living now,
but what can you do?
The only thing you can do
is just to live it the way it is.
But why is that so hard to do for me?
I tried my best already,
but it seems as though no one will ever understand...
this is one of the times where I need a friend.
but sometimes I stop to think,
"Do I have a real friend at all?"
and after some thinking, I guess the answer is no.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm living a life that is totally crap.
Probably even the biggest loner in the world has a better life than me.
People want me to do this, then I'll do it.
People want me to do that, then I'll do it.
But why are they never impressed,
in fact, they just want more and more.
And they keep saying more and more bad things about me.
I'm slowly moving out of my comfort zone,
and I hate it.
It's not that I show an attitude on purpose,
but if everyone treats me coldly,
how can I not?
You can't expect me to smile and bear with it for the rest of my life.
And then people can still say that I don't respect them,
and that I always give "attitude".
It's simply because, I'm not treated the right way.
I feel like I'm like a piece of tissue paper,
once you're done messing around with it,
in to the dustbin it goes.
has anyone thought of how I would feel? No.
has anyone thought of the consequences whatsoever? No.
I accept the critisms from other people,
as it's a platform for me to improve.
But am I that bad that no one has nothing good to say about me?
Not even something half-good.
And to be honest,
I feel left out in the Board.
It's only sometimes when people need me that they include me.
okay, so maybe I do have some of the people I think are my close friends.
Which would be the ones that I included up there.
But sometimes, I get the feeling
that deep down, I'm not one of their close friends.
maybe not even normal friends at all.
I don't know what to do with my rotten life.
I ever thought of transferring schools. But....
I guess it would be a waste.
Might as well just live the 4 years
in this school. I'll just have to bear with it.
Cos I can only learn from my mistakes
Choked on sadness.

look at my new spectacles.
makes me look like a nerd,
but I don't care.
Yesterday was sad.
So I'll keep this post short.
I'm watching Amazing Race now.
On MC today,
maybe a little one-day break away from school is all I need now.
Cos to me, right now,
School-life, and friendships are not high on my to-do list.
both are far from perfect.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
That's that.

I guess that's that.
I've deleted you from my Facebook, MSN, and my handphone's contact list.
maybe it'll work this time round.
cos I really don't care.
as much as I missed the way we used to chat and laugh with each other,
I couldn't care less.
You are the past tense.
You'll never be the present or future tense in my life.
and I want it to remain this way,
unless one of us makes a change,
which is highly unlikely.
so after doing all these,
maybe you'll be automatically deleted in my life.
in the past, I used to be sad over you,
cos you wouldn't speak to me.
even if you were to, you were cold and rude.
now,
everytime I see you, my blood literally boils.
and I instantly look away or go somewhere else
cos now, the sight of you disgusts me.
I'll never look in your direction, unless I'm forced to do so.
ever regarding you as a friend, and crushing on you,
were the worst mistakes that I ever made in my entire life.
so now, after this post,
I'll never acknowledge you, even as an acquaintance.
and that's that.
I'm happy, for once :DDDDD
____________________________________________________________________
can't wait to go to school,
if I'm not in school,
I'll probably die of boredom at home.
omgee.5 more days till Friday.
then can go to Choa Chu Kang Stadium.
see my beloved friends running.
good for them.
how I wish I could run.
but I don't have what it takes to represent the school.
I run too slow, too average.
arghs. but I also don't wanna train.
so whatever.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
1 Corinthians 13 : The Excellence Of Love

(1)If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (2)If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. (3)If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
(4)Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5)It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6)Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7)It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(8)Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (9)For we know in part and we prophesy in part, (10)but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. (11)When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (12)Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

(13)And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
today was boring so far.
very uneventful.
went for math tuition in the monrning.
I swore almost slept.
a class full of men.
arghs. why no girls join?
then ate chicken rice for lunch.
going to celebrate someone's birthday later
I love barbeques.
can eat until I go fat.
oh yeahh, forgot to mention that I McDonalds hotcakes for breakfast.
I love those stuff.
I seriously can't wait for Monday to come.
then it'll be Friday very soon.
then on that day,
it's gonna be "Choa Chu Kang, here I come!"
supporting rvps.
ahahah. can't wait till then.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Makes me wonder.

Firstly,
I would like to wish Stacey, Cassandra and Huixin
a very very Happy Birthday!
all the 9 April babies.
so many.
__________________________________________________
woke up early,
reported for duties.
then went back to class for science.
learnt abut Acids and Alkalis.
looks so damn fun leh.
I love science,
but sometimes,
it gets too complicated for me.
Although I have a passion for this subject,
it also makes me wonder why I never get ideal grades for it.
then had Literature.
about Animal Farm.
another subject I love dearly.
then english. sian.
even though I love it,
the lessons are getting more boring each day.
then after recess,
had the math test.
even though I hate Math,
I must say, the test was simple. but I can't get full marks.
I think I made one careless mistake.arghs.
Mdm Tan just smsed me again.
asked me to help her announce the winners for the
home economics cooking competition.
awesomee man.
I love doing these stuffs. I'm gonna make sure the prefects at the back
can actually hear what I'm saying
and lastly,
Special Thanks to
Caroline!
thanks for helping me :)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The truth came to light.

i'm not happy.
i'm not sad.
i'm just plain confused.
some things just hurt me.
it cuts me deeply.
i try not to be affected by what people say or think about me,
but sometimes i can't help myself.
he doesn't want to be my friend
and he couldn't be bothered.
that's what someone told me.
it's seriously hurting me.
but i have to bear with it.
just a while more before i move on from this awful friendship.
__________________________________________________________
after school,
ate while caroline watched me ate awhile.
then she went for guzheng.
then hung out with jiajie, joey and tiffany.
tiffany and I kept leaving some space for the two lovebirds.
then joey act like she was angry.
but no lor.
actually she looked quite happy.
then i got angry with smth.
whole day have that angry face.
then walked to the bus stop behind hougang point with
zhilin ( he forced me ), huixin, joey, jiajie, anthony, xintao, ziyang,
and another boy who i don't really know.
i think he's the guy that gives the command during assembly.
forgot the name already.
then homed with joey on the same bus.
jiajie chatted to us for a while then joined the others at the bus
stop opposite.
_________________________________________________________
when i read the new paper noon sports edition,
i was damn shocked.
manchester united is out of the champions league thanks to the
match with bayern munich.
pissed.
then, the happy thing was that
during american idol, i found out that the bottom 3 involved
"big mike", andrew garcia and someone else.
nothing happened to katie stevens.
thank goodness.
missed glee yesterday. arghs.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Walking on Sunshine. Maybe not so much.

awesomeee day!
came to school with Joey,
then went to report and do duty.
skip skip skip.
went back to class.
before that found something shocking.
but i kept it to myself.
i love keeping secrets.
somehow, it shows that people trust me.
and that's all i want.
after school,
dabao-ed kfc
and went to louisa's house to eat.
with xena and jiayi.
spilled everything.
can't wait for next week!
going to support RVPS in their cross country. so excited!
maybe can see some old friends there.
hope so. then can catch up
have home economic test tomorrow.
arghs. something i have to study for.
i need to improve. or maintain grades.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Childish.

i'm in the childish mood.
stuff like,
" i don't friend you "
and
" i go tell mummy that you bully me "
those were awesome comebacks when we were young,
but now,
not useful at all.
chatting to my Darrel now,
talking about his fencing stuff.
i miss the 6B guys!
they're awesomee!
just saw mingyi and gabriel yesterday.
mingyi grew!
taller than me.
according to him,
now that he's taller,
he have the right to say me.
or was randy the one who said that?
hmmm, all grew taller than me correct liao.
except for gabriel.
still slightly shorter.
but i will grow,
or at least i think so.
still stuck at 164cm.
probably will never grow.
i want katie stevens to win idol!
that was a random thought.
Make a Change.

weird,
this guy called Gary added me on msn.
and called me babe?
i was freaked out,
so i deleted him.
and i had a fun time laughing at that.
watching MTV Chart Attack. quite nice.
all my favourite songs are there.
talking about MTV,
anyone heard of Jersey Shore?
from the trailers and the ads,
it looks to me like its just a remake of the hills.
the epic failure version, that is.
looks as if it's made up of plastic people.
not blow-up dolls that kind,
but more of the sort
who go to plastic surgery 24/7.
i meant that in a bad way.
here goes the trailer on tv again.
it's hurting my eyes.
if i go blind,
i'll blame those things.
homework!
i still have maths and art left.
i'm lazy, but i still have to do it.
arghs. bored.
katie stevens will win american idol season 9!!!!
omgee, i loved her ever since she sang Big Girls Don't Cry.
not 'that' sort of love,
but idolise.
yeaps, you get what i mean.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Square One, Loner.

Back to basics.
Back to being a hopeless loner.
it always has to be this way.
but i'm used to it,
just have to accept it.
lost a friend. haven't gained another one just yet.
i swear that this time,
it's true.
i'll never like him again.
___________________________________________________
resolutions to make more friends.
i have to.
eek, manchester united lost.
dammit.
the referee.
so stupid.
messaged Brandon during the second half onwards.
arghs.
i lost hope.
_____________________________________________________
i need to get a life.
maybe i should just start afresh.
hold my head up high.
and. errr.....
make more friends, not enemies.
be more loveable than hateable.
be stronger. i have to keep the faith.
i will believe that my Dear God will guide me throughout this
tiring, yet enriching journey.
as I have learnt my lesson,
albeit a painful one,
but i have learnt it.
and i hope that i'll never make the same mistake again.
______________________________________________________
Falling down is hard,
but to get back up,
is even harder.
Doing so takes courage.
something which I think I lack.
So as of now,
I'll find the courage that I seek in this journey called
Life
Fine.

okay,
i'm seriously look forward to the grand match between
Manchester United vs. Chelsea
i'm a manchester supporter.
so,
Manchester Forever!!!
they sure win one.
i guarantee.
so meanwhile,
i'm gonna sit and think about the importance of friendship.
i'm not going to name names,
but,
its confusing. why doesn't he wanna be my friend?
i swear i've moved on already.
sure, it took me long, but i did it in the end.
anyway,
if he doesn't wanna be friends,
fine.
maybe I shouldn't be his too.
and it will stay that way until something changes.
okay, maybe i meant someone.
cos if he won't speak to me,
then he's not worthy of being a good friend.
unlike what others say.
can't wait to go my uncle's house for football!
Friday, April 2, 2010
more than midnight.


can't believe i'm still up using the computer at this time.
and i'm messaging Belin at the same time too.
so unlike me,
but i just wanna use the computer now.
unfortunately,
i have no plans at all for tomorrow.
not allowed to go to Isabelle's birthday party. sadly.
my parents claim that it's too inaccessible.
very very 'ulu'.
hahah, nvm.
i'm trying to see if i can drag anyone to go out with me tomorrow.
but everyone's not free.
i think i should sleep now.
happy birthday to my greatest cousin Clement.
although your advice sometimes sucks.
celebrated his birthday just now.
i gave him a car sign which read,
Honk If You Like Me.
i loved it,
it was hilarious.
so i bought it for him lor.
i'm gonna rest!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
it's april fools', and i've moved on from you.

although it took me 52 days.
i'm proud to say that,
on this day, 04/01/10, i've moved on.
i don't feel that way for him anymore.
the timing was 11.08am
this is not an april fools' joke. -.-
why would i joke about something like this?
i feel proud.
although i did move on,
i will never foget
how i felt.
eeek, this sounds so emo. how crappy of me?!
______________________________________________________

today, had fun,
after school, stayed back. ate with the usual bunch of prefects.
although, i was sitting at the corner of the table with Janice.
as usual.
hahah.
then, wanted to do my homework in the youth corner,
but i got distracted.
so went down to celebration wall.
watched Joey and Jiajie playing among themselves.
they look so matching. LOL.
that was just a personal comment.
then chatted with the prefects.
want to learn guitar from xavier.
i don't think i'll give up this time. i really wanna learn guitar.
then accompanied yiyan on 325 home.
then went to compasspoint,
bought something for ISABELLE!!!!
and my dear cousin.
from minitoons and action city.
then homed at 5 something.